1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
