You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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