I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
