She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Come on in and take your pants off
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