At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
