I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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