it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize