dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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