hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
