Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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