Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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