Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
