That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
