I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
