Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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