Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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