I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I have aggressive nipples.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
