Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
