I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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