It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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