check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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