im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
there is puke in my bra ... again
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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