He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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