i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
