So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
