I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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