Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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