A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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