why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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