I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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