What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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