Swine flu. Run for my life!
You can't special order awesome
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
