After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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