That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
