alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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