Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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