I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
