What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
