i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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