Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
