I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I didn't notice because vodka
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
