saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
