after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
