hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Say something about gay babies.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
