one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
