Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
