I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
