I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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