The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize