The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
