just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
