hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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