YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
