I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
