just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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