also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
