i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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