I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize