yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I forgot how hot balto sounded
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
