whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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