Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
