Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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