this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize